Hello blog! It's been awhile.

Something hit my heart yesterday. We had an 8pm dinner yesterday. After keeping away the dishes, husband was obviously tired for the day, a normal scenario. He laid down on the couch and napped. Our charming wee girl on the other hand was energetic and playing and wants a play mate.

And it hit me, I saw my previous myself in that scene. When my kids deserved my after work time then and I cant. Either my shoulders were just too tired and wished to nap, or I have to come home late, at times 1am. Or I need to face the laptop until 2am or even 4am. Or work during weekends. (That was not everyday though, but let's say more than half of each month).

It's been five months since I've been out of work, staying at home. I never thought I'll love being this way this much. For the longest time before (I've been in the sandpit for 10 years now) I've been conscious of how much I earn for the family -- except for the last 5 months. But realistically, I need to be back to the work routine soon if we are to survive the desert life. I blogged about this to remind me that my kids will not be kids forever, they grow and we don't want regretting missing to play with them.

And to add more charm to the reminder are these photos of my babies  (^-^)

Yes, i am contemplating on a nasal surgery, not the cosmetic one though.

It's the cold and COLDS season here in the sand pit, and for the first time, Little Princess got coughs as she turned eight months. Her bowels timing and frequency also changed slightly, and I was wondering if it is related to her teething. Her fifth pearly is breaking her gums currently. Except for the occasional coughing and mucus, there's nothing alarming so far. She is not extra cranky and she sleeps well through the night. And to prevent any chance for fever and diarrhea to set in, I rang the clinic yesterday for appointment today.

Customer Service: Any preferred doctor for Little Princess?
Me: Dr J.A. please.
Customer Service: Sorry but he's fully booked and you would be 16th on the waiting list. How about the other doctor? He's available from 10 am then 4-6pm
Me: Thank you but we'll just try our luck tomorrow with Dr. JA.

We were at the clinic 9am today but left and did not push our chance with Dr JA. We remembered to see Kalel's doctor six years ago in his new clinic and was lucky to see him, and here he is with our Princess.

Little Princess and Iranian doctor, Dr. Mohammadi. The Pediatrician who has loads of Kit Kats in his fridge for his little patients.

How many kids more on your board Doctor? Lots still, I know.

What's with pediatricians anyway?

Probably, there were around six doctors that Kalel had visited over the past six years here in Dubai, four of them because the two Favourite Doctors were not around. To say, we had no choice.

Little Princess meantime had three pediatricians on her first days, another two during her vaccinations.

I guess we had enough experiences with pediatricians to say that indeed, we learned to play preferences.

You see, our two favourite pediatricians stand out because:

- they are cheerful and socially child friendly, our kids get to smile back
- they treat kids personally, knowing the kids by name
- they cheer the kids by singing or mumbling 'I love you'-s
- they explain why the medications are as such
- they minimise prescribing antibiotics, until necessary
- they go beyond asking how the kids had been and what are other concerns apart from what we came for.
- they chat with Kalel, not rushing their time even with a waiting list of patients

I would like to put my feet on the shoes of our Favourite Pediatricians and know how it is to feel fulfilled in their profession. Would it be so great when your service is sought after and preferred by many?

The newspaper reported a few weeks back of a Dubai school that had to expel a four-year-old pupil after two days in class apparently because he was hyperactive. (Article here)

I feel bad for the kid and his parents, but I still take the side of the school if only to save the other 20 more or less other kids. You see, my son had a “special child” for a classmate for two years who would physically hurt him, tear his books, throw his notebooks, cut his pencils, then laughs while my son cries. Special Classmate takes gladness at my son's cries. I’d say it’s not bullying because Special Classmate doesn’t seem to understand his acts. Apart from my son, he does the same to the other kids. At a point when of the disgruntled kids slammed his head to the wall. On the second year, the impact was taking a toll on our son. In response to bullying, he started changing from a rather sweet, quiet child in school to a noisy and defensive one. He shouts back at bullies with “I’ll Manny Pacquaio you!”.

We complained to the teacher but only to be told that it’s not within her control to deny the dear special classmate. That the child’s mother pleaded with tears to the school’s administrators to accept their son as the other mainstream schools already declined him. Out of compassion he was accepted.

Let’s just look at it this way: children has the right to education and we parents have the responsibility to make sure our kids can jibe socially. We don’t want our kids to put other kids at risk or be disadvantaged much as we pull our kids away from misbehaving kids. But for the really special children, I just wish more affordable facilities become available for them.

There's this reference to kids  as "Terrible 2" when they reach their second year. But for us it's not the case it seems. Can I say it's "Terrible 5" for the Gremlin? Nope, he's not that bad, it was just how we all confronted his social exposure.

Kalel at five years old is primarily being in Grade 1, with his Mom expecting a baby and his Dad working away from home. At this time, school does not have a nanny, and each one is to forced to outgrow the "baby" tag that may have been left of  from Kindergarten 2. And he is forced to cope with a demanding school curriculum (marathon lessons including Math with multiplication, division, fractions, areas). And his pregnant Mom is quite mean, hot tempered and impatient sending him to school and assisting in his school work at those five months his dad is working away from home.

And then he has to deal with school bullies. And he started to socialize, chat and play with classmates at times adopting nasty attitudes he has to be corrected and reprimanded for.

Then came the unimpressive school performance. He took school lightly but school requires him to know reading and cope up with an advanced curriculum. It has been stressful hearing feed-backs from his teacher; I wrote notes and notes to her asking her attention to the Gremlin. The Gremlin then was made to sit in front of the teacher (but near to a special classmate who would make him cry). Then we resorted to a tutor who amazingly triggered the Gremlin to blurt out and read by himself. Another issue with him was his focus. Everything just seem to be play. To get him to focus meant stressful daily

School  

June 19, 2012

I posted this on Facebook today:

Kalel turns six today and definitely no longer the big baby. From a shy bullied school boy, to a chatty bully’s friend with a starting bullying attitude -- may he not become the bully as he starts Grade 2… He’s passionate of airplanes, youtube, google maps and said he can play by himself -- may he learn team play... He approaches kids in the malls, chatting and asking for their contact numbers – may he be charmingly friendly rather than irritating... That’s a hope list for him, but I guess he’d say “I hope mama and papa have lots of patience and wisdom in dealing with me”. 

Happy birthday Kalel (with hugs & kiss)! 

And here's a recap of how we celebrated your birthday:

On birthdays you attended, you had been inviting everyone to come on your birthday (without agreeing with us yet), so when we started planning your celebration, we had to discuss with your our budget. You were given a choice: first choice --  we invite your classmates, some friends and most uncles and aunties (and there's plenty of them) and you will not have a gift of your liking from us; or second choice -- we invite some aunties and uncles for dinner and buy you few gifts you want. You chose the second, you even said you're sure as you can celebrate by yourself (not that we wanted you to celebrate less, son :) ). So here it was:

2012.June.17 was a UAE holiday, we had your pre-birthday dinner at DFC's Hardrock Cafe. Juryn  joined you blow your birthday candles.

Do you remember doing this, your usual approach-someone-a-stranger-and-ask-their-number thing? Miss Nice Lady  entertained your question as you wrote her answers.

You went to Kidzania for a good four hours, became a pilot, an aircraft engineer, doctor, dentist, made your own coke and milk pack, delivered newspapers, among others. You came home for late lunch with your third birthday cake. Your first two cakes were at Hardrock CAfe. And we had another family picture. On your sixth birthday, our dear Baby Riane completes us.  Then you went on to open your gifts. There is one of your requests -- an Emirates Airbus A380-800 model. Were you too happy to have one of the new passenger aircraft model on your radar. Another happy face with one of your favorite and skilled-at games - Angry Birds. Happy birthday dear Gremlin,  may you continue to grow in wisdom and goodness. We love you!

2012.05.16

"Mama, my tooth, it fell off by itself!", Kalel exclaimed handing over his little pearly white as he started his breakfast. His Dad just left for Muscat and it should be his honor to receive the tooth (lower central incisor) at last after a month of father and son brushing the loose tooth. It loosened apparently after food (chicken meat) clung between his teeth and pulled it.

To calm him, his dad talked him through tooth fairies, putting the tooth under the pillow, receiving surprises and the like -- which excited the boy. For about a month, we asked him to hold on of forcing the tooth to fall, and finally, it did today.

The excited mom in me brought the tiny tooth to the kitchen sink to wash, but lo! it fell down the drain! HEART BREAKING! I cannot exactly define the feeling -- the FIRST tooth was like everything to us, if only I scan scour through the drainage of the building to have the prized tooth back. I was crying inside.

Then, I calmed myself and called my son over, gave him a tight looong hug, apologizing I lost the tooth.   His face turned red and heavy but was quick to suggest we ask help to recover it. He remained composed through my hugs and had not freaked for my losing the precious tooth he'd been speaking about for weeks and been eager to place under his pillow for the tooth fairy to collect. Amidst the situation, I realized a certain 'emotional maturity' in my Gremlin.It was just like a half year back when his immediate reaction to frustrations was to cry.

Back to the precious tooth, I hoped on hope, got a pail, opened the outlet pipes below the sink and with the pail, caught the water and dirt that dropped. I scoured among the tiny pieces and a was I so blessed -- there on my hand was the precious tooth! Imagine how thankful and happy I was!




It was until the following night when his dad is back from the trip that we placed the precious tooth under Kalel's pillow. While he was asleep, his dad came and replaced the tooth with a mini British Airways airplane. He had the happiest smile the next morning, and his dad the happiest dad seeing his smile!


     

My used-to-be ‘unsocial’ son is hatching out of his shell and starts catching up on his self-imposed social deprivation.He scribbled below paper and inserted it on our neighbor’s (apartment) door.

And he approached his aunt Aggie to dance with him in a recent event below:



He wasn't anthrophobiac (afraid of people), nor a social menace, but imagine a kid growing with mainly his parents as his only playmates. I tell you, we felt it was good -- until he started school. He was not exposed to bullying so he remained nice and sweet. He’d laugh when being pushed by a nasty kid, but mom and dad are always around to pull him away so nothing goes beyond that.

But he eventually attends school away from mom and dad's guards. This environment change shocked the Boy as much as we his parents found ourselves unguarded.  School and social play was new to him that he didn't know what these meant. He found himself constantly crying, and he had difficulty focusing in school.

His Kindergarten 2 at four years old did not pose much concern to us. His Teacher Ailene refers to him a baby, and hugs him during his frustrations or when he cries. There was Tita Ping and Tita Joan as teacher assistants to guide him as well. Benjie is a hands-on bus assistant too. While he is physically active and a blabbermouth outside school, it came as a surprise that his teacher noted he is a quiet kid in the classroom. He even got the Most Behaved award.

Then came Grade 1, no teacher assistant/s and probably no classroom hugs.

He started school with his “un-social” mark, keeping alone by himself. And his Teacher would later let me know that he bit Gian’s (not his real name) arm after Gian’s teasing did not stand well with him -- let alone a boy who scowls when being laughed or talked bad about at. This greatly surprised us and we put this on record as the first physical assault he'd done. Is it something he saw on television, or from his classmates that he imitated?

Then once, he came home with scissor cuts on his polo, trousers and shoe-string so I rang his teacher on what his classmate Adrian (not his real name) had done. His teacher seemed un-aware but told us - “kaya pala nasa under the table sya umiiyak, pero when I asked him why, wala namang sinasabi”.

On another case, his notebooks got torn one after the other. He named Simon (not his real name) doing this as I asked him one day after another. Again, a ring to Teacher who said “Pasensya na po kayo Mommy, Simon is a special child kasi. Ewan ko po, pero tuwang tuwa sya na nakikitang umiiiyak si Kalel.”

Our school boy also later witnessed Adrian bang Simon’s head onto the wall as Simon’s face quietly cried in pain.

And the used-to-be sweet and nice physically active Boy turned nasty. He shriekingly cry to insist what he wants, wont budge on his fears and cannot be pacified to trust on his parents’ presence; he shouts at kids who displeases him; he doesn’t want to share his toys. Let me say it bluntly -- he was selfish.

At this time, Husband relocated in Muscat and seeing us only on weekends. I was also on the peak of my early pregnancy discomforts. I was so irritable that this was the worst time for the Son. I didn’t spare the rod on him. My monstrosity  further moulded him into a little ‘monster’.

This attitude and my stress on overlooking his studies (frustrations, another story), took a toll on me that Husband had to resign and eventually rejoined us home. We would discuss for days how to deal with our son -- get him out of his selfishness, get him to fit socially, get him back to being nice.

Husband and I agreed to guide him by starting with ourselves. Weeks later, there’s none of or just isolated raising of voice to the Boy. Comments on his behaviour are cautiously done constructively. We entertain his chatters as he engages us in discussions. He get praises  at consistently speaking  ‘sweetly’. We surrendered to not force our expectations on him. We bring him to social gatherings. And guess how he is now? He's starting to get out of his un-social shadow. It's a long way but he started. And how about us his mom and dad? We're learning that some kindness and patience to our kid pays a lot -- we are less stressed; and we constantly smile and laugh at our Boy's progress.

I believe the teacher has guided him here: “Dear Lord God, Thank you for all your blessings. Please guide (me/ us against) monsters.

And it seems without his teacher guiding, he meant “Dear God Jesus, I will pray. In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit”

One of the Gremlin's assignments - Merry Christmas!

Can you know online if my irritability has something to do with my pregnancy? I asked my husband this morning. Jokingly he asked back "Arent you that way everyday?"

As much as I am avoiding rants in this blog, I just cant withhold it. I don't mind being irritated, if only there's not a Little Precious One in my tummy whom his sibling whispered to me "Mama, are you not hurting Ading too, because if you get mad, she will feel it?" (Ading refers to a younger sibling)

(PS - I cant get much help from the Gremlin's dad who's based in a nearby country who flies in and out during weekends only -- who because of my rants, thought of resigning to rejoin us. Also, there are instances of after work stress, hence tired to spend the night doing assignments after cooking dinner and packing next day lunch.)

My frustration on the Gremlin's schooling is at its peak yesterday and today. It's 10:49pm and he just hit bed after 2.5 hours of doing his home works, and much of them I'd say is worked on 'blindly' because he just copied what I wrote as answers.

ASSIGNMENTS:

• On occasions the Gremlin seem to have not learned/ understood underlying lessons to his assignments, we just photocopy his questionnaire, and let him copy what we write as answers. If it's a reasonable lesson he understands, he participates in answering it. Most of his assignments seem advanced and that there's not much sign that the teacher is really discussing it adequately in class if I am to rely on his book activities. His book activities are mostly not answered, and if they were, the Gremlin only gets half as correct - where the half are 100% guessing it seems. And rarely does his books have check marks, I mean rarely does the teacher inspect the answers.
• I just can not count how much of his assignments are the so called parents' assignments, or those that we need to source out.  How many are "... cut pictures of this and that" and we parents google them as soon as the child is put to sleep. Or those that says "... bring this and that to school" that we need to scamper out to buy. 

I came to a point of asking, is it valid to say we pay for our children's education so that the institution let them learn how to read and write, and home learning would only be supplemental, and not the other way around?   When we spent 2.5 hours today for assignments, it was just for the Gremlin to copy my answers, and it I did not really have time to explain why and how. If I still had let him understand, I surmise we have spent 5 hours learning? If only one of us his parents does not work, then might as well, we put him into home schooling, and save on tuition fees as well as frustrations on school expectations.

Looking back at my education back home (I had elementary education in a CAtholic school then), I now appreciate how much better it was. If only we could send our son to study there... Or yet, I miss how the Gremlin has been well attended to by his teacher last year in KG 2, who along with teaching him the start of reading and writing, she also showed care and affection, having to hug my kid whenever he gets frustrated.

The Gremlin attends a Filipino school here in Dubai, hence the daily singing of the Philippine Anthem (I suppose).

Once in a while, he would browse youtube listening to Lupang Hinirang versions. He loves singing along, even when his lyrics are still lost somewhere. We took a video of his progress yesterday, which I uploaded on youtube today with the note:

Nah, this is not to make the Gremlin a laughing stock, in fact, we are glad that our patriotic five-year old has a bit improved in singing the Philippine Anthem, despite that he doesnt speak Tagalog/ Filipino to date. 
Yes, we hide our giggles as he sings, but behind us is our gladness in his progress. :-)